Leadership … What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Love, Midtown, New York City, NY_Thomas R. Stegelmann

Photo Credit: Love, Midtown, New York City, NY, by Thomas R. Stegelmann, Flickr

In 1984, when I was launching into my pre-teen years, Tina Turner released her classic song, “What’s Love Got to Do with It.”

I’m sure just about anyone growing up in the 80’s can hear the chorus in their head right now…

 

 

Oh what’s love got to do, got to do with it
What’s love but a second hand emotion
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken.”

In some circles, this philosophy likely governs the work of leadership as well—keep love and emotion out of it.

Leadership … What’s Love Got to Do with It?

While Turner’s song was both fun and popular, I’d argue that it’s really bad leadership advice. Those engaged in the study and practice of leadership may not immediately think of love when they think of leadership,  but I’d argue that the best leaders know how to love well in their leadership work.

Hired Hearts

Providing helpful perspective on the relationship between leadership and love, Bruce Winston argues that leaders need to see followers as hired hearts instead of hired hands. As hired hearts, followers, just like leaders, are whole individuals that are motivated by authentic consideration and care.

On this point, Kathleen Patterson argues that in contrast to fear-based approaches to leadership, love in leadership creates an atmosphere where respect, trust, and dignity are fostered.

A Range of Loves

Now when we speak of love for followers, this love, of course, needs to be distinguished from the classic form of love we consider on Valentine’s Day. For instance, when I say “I love you,” this means different things depending on the one to whom I speak it. The love I have for my wife is different that the love I have for my children. Similarly, love for friends, extended family members, neighbors, and coworkers is also different. Love is different in each of these relational contexts, but is nevertheless important and meaningful.

One of my favorite authors from the 20th century is C.S. Lewis. In his book The Four Loves, Lewis engages such distinctions in love by contrasting four Greek words for love: storgē (family bond love), philía (friendship bond love), erōs (erotic bond love), and agápē (unconditional bond love). While love for one’s spouse should encompasses all four of these loves in its highest form, love for friends and coworkers is more limited, though still rightly called love.

Agape Love & Leadership

For leaders, perhaps the most helpful of Lewis’ four loves is the agape form of love. Speaking of such love around the term agapao love, Bruce Winston notes that agapáo love means to love in a social or moral sense and that “this Greek word refers to a moral love, doing the right thing at the right time for the right reasons.”

That’s a helpful way to understand leader love. Doing the right things at the right time for the right reasons. Servant leadership commitments clarify this a step further by asking whether leaders are considering the needs of followers and empowering them in their work of serving the needs of others.

This is why Kathleen Patterson believes that servant leadership is based on love at its core and that “true leadership is based on love.” With a primary commitment to followers, servant leaders drive their organizations’ missions forward toward success as they commit first to caring for (loving) their followers.

Loving Us along the Way

One of my colleagues, Mark McCloskey, argues that followers bring three core questions to their leaders. These questions often are not verbalized, but the degree to which followers have answers to these questions drives commitment and performance.

  1. Do you know where you’re going?
  2. Can you get us there?
  3. Will you love us along the way?

Clear vision and leadership capacity are at the core of the first two questions. The third question speaks more to the character and values guiding the leader. Followers want to know that not only will things get done, but that they will also experience loving leadership along the way.

What’s Love Got to Do with It? – Everything!

So, back to our question: What’s Love Got to Do with Leadership? When leadership is done well, I argue that love is at the core of that leadership practice. It is done with the good of followers in mind (doing the right thing at the right time for the right reasons), and it’s done in the right manner (loving people along the way).

Leader Love and You

Whether leadership love is a foreign concept or an intuitive practice for you, I encourage you to take some time this week to think through how love is shaping your leadership practice. How are you engaging your followers with consideration and care? How are you serving your followers as they aim to serve others? How are you caring for and loving your followers along the way in carrying out your organization’s mission?

C.S. Lewis on Empowerment — Exploring Leadership Development

C. S. Lewis, Sigurdur Jonsson, Flickr

Photo Credit: C. S. Lewis, Sigurdur Jonsson, Flickr

Empowerment is vital for effective leadership. It is core to most of our relationships…from teaching, to parenting, to leading.

Leading People to Not Need Us

In discussing love and giving, C.S. Lewis implicitly engages the practice of empowerment. Lewis writes:

The proper aim of giving is to put the recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift. We feed children in order that they may soon be able to feed themselves; we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching.”

Celebrating Growth toward Independence

This principle is not only essential for effective parenting or teaching, it is also essential for effective leading. It raises a heart-searching question for us as leaders: Are we leading our people to dependency on our leadership, or are we leading them to a place of independence and interdependence?

Recognizing Leader Struggles Along the Way

Organizational leaders who hunger for power and position will have difficulty leading followers to a place of independence. Organizational leaders who struggle with personal insecurity will struggle to free followers to this place as well.

Secure and follower-focused leaders recognize that it is a win for both their followers and their organizations to create pathways where leaders may be both developed and empowered for service.

Finding the Reward of Empowerment

Lewis continues to press his argument:

Thus a heavy task is laid upon the Gift-love. It must work towards its own abdication. We must aim at making ourselves superfluous. The hour when we can say ‘They need me no longer’ should be our reward.”

All too often, our saying “they need me no longer” is viewed as a threat rather than a reward. But true love—love that holds the importance of others and their goals alongside our own goals—will lead in such a way that both leader and follower values, goals, aspirations, and dreams may be pursued.

Developing and Deploying Emerging Leaders

In reality, leaders who get the concept of developing and deploying their people do not work themselves out of a job, for such leaders are constantly creating new opportunities for new developing leaders. Great leaders create space for others to flourish. Great leaders identify potential, develop this potential, and release this potential into new roles and opportunities.

Leadership development does not need to be a zero sum game. Thriving organizations and entrepreneurial communities benefit from a regular flow of developed and empowered leaders released into new opportunities.

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How are you wired as a leader around these themes? Do you tend to hold onto authority over others, or are you wired to identify, develop, and release talent in the cause of your organization’s mission? Great leaders empower their people!